Somebody should be paying me for this...
I was walking home from Sacred Noise yesterday when the most brilliant inspiration I've had in months came to me. At 3rd and 11th I saw some brah with a GAP Athletic and it dawned on me: GAPathetic... Clothing for hipster wannabes.
Now that the whole post new wave musical thing is en vogue outside of downtown Manhattan thanks to uber-shitty bands like The Killers and The Bravery, middle america needs duds to match the tunes.
Here's how I see it: The Gap starts a clothing line called GAPathetic consisting solely of jeans and t-shirts. The jeans would be cut exactly the same for girls and boys (to eschew any hint of classic sexuality) and range in size from 24/24 to 32/32. The Gap could employ an army of homeless Chinese who wear each pair for a month to get the wear and odor perfectly hipsterrific. T-shirts would be sized XXXS to M and they could have clever, sarcastic slogans like
"How GAPathetic? I dunno, I hadn't really thought about it."
or
"GAPathetic. It's kinda like GAP Atheletic, except we don't run or catch or play sports."
I think it's fuckin genius, but then again I'm conceited.
Now that the whole post new wave musical thing is en vogue outside of downtown Manhattan thanks to uber-shitty bands like The Killers and The Bravery, middle america needs duds to match the tunes.
Here's how I see it: The Gap starts a clothing line called GAPathetic consisting solely of jeans and t-shirts. The jeans would be cut exactly the same for girls and boys (to eschew any hint of classic sexuality) and range in size from 24/24 to 32/32. The Gap could employ an army of homeless Chinese who wear each pair for a month to get the wear and odor perfectly hipsterrific. T-shirts would be sized XXXS to M and they could have clever, sarcastic slogans like
"How GAPathetic? I dunno, I hadn't really thought about it."
or
"GAPathetic. It's kinda like GAP Atheletic, except we don't run or catch or play sports."
I think it's fuckin genius, but then again I'm conceited.
