josh is stupid and boring and self-centered and stupid and has crabs

Yes, I know. I have been terrible about doing this lately. I only take solace in the thought that the blogosphereis built on the twin pillars of distraction and the avoidance of work, and thus has not collapsed, but been validated by my total lack of posts. Anyway...

There is much to report, but I have forgotten most of it. SATs are still just as tedious as when you and I took them, except now they include the writing of a dull essay, VH1 has been uneventful (although it has turned out to be a really good place to meet girls), and I'm not even sure what's going on in half of my classes. However, that last is going to change because...

I finally finished tracking Tom's EP! HOoRaY!!!!! When I left the studio yesterday, I felt like I had walked out of a moist, dark cave, after 6 weeks of isolation and gnawing hunger. But now is the summer of my bliss-content, and I am definitely feeling better. Tracking on a tight schedule is really stressful because (obviously) I can't actually control the situation as much as I like to, and you can't force a great take out of someone. But Tom and his guys came through (esp. Brandon... holla) and we got what we needed, so I'm taking a few days off before I start prepping for the mix.

Getting all that done has been kind of an eye-opener to how fast the semester's going. It's almost November and I have only the vaguest notion of where I am and what's been happening to me this fall. But that's fine. The sooner the semester ends, the sooner I get to London! I'm not doing arty, recorded music exchange. I'm gonna slack off a little, enjoy the city, and try to learn about something not directly related to my profession. It should be a nice change of pace from the last few months and my last chance to be a slacker college student (which I do so enjoy).



wow, what a boring post. i'll try and do something fun before the end of the week. promise.

I'm absolutely dumbfounded. Just when the music listening public most needs the snarky establishment of popular music journalism... it's nowhere to be found. Rather, everyone from Rolling Stone (unsurprisingly) to Pitchfork (more surprising) has let Sony, the producers, and even (especially?) Fiona herself off the hook for her new album. Why!? Why why why why why?

Let me make it clear before I go any further: I really really really like the leaked Extraordinary Machine. I'm not gonna say love, cause this is not about love, but it's definitely one of my top five records this year. It's not the best sounding thing out there (to my ears most of the tracks don't seem even remotely mastered), but the songwriting is some of Fiona's best, Jon Brion is in peak form, wrapping the quirky material in a mood that makes the record cohesive. I have probably listened to this record in its entirity more times than any other this year.

So of course Sony incurred my wrath when the buzz was that they had shelved the album for lack of a commercial single. And don't think they can't do that. If a major label doesn't like what they hear, they don't have to release it. Essentially locking an artist's career in stasis until they rerecord to the label's tastes or fight a costly legal battle to escape their contract (and even then, that record can never see the light of day). However, this is the sort of blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance that we all expect from the major labels. The corporate jerkoffs can't hear the commercial potential of a classicly Fiona track like "Better Version of Me," so they hold the artist hostage until they agree to go back into the studio and get it "commercially viable."

This brings me to the next person(s) on my shit list: John Brion and Mike Elizondo (for those who don't know, Elizondo is Dr. Dre's long time engineer). I am a big fan of both, they both failed this project, albeit for very different reasons. First comes Brion. His work on the leaked version was really excellent, and I have a sneaking suspicion that he was responsible for its release into the wilds of the internet after becoming frustrated with Sony. However, I can't help but think he should have fought harder for the project. Leak whichever track you think is the single, watch it take off, and then go back to Sony and say "look, you fucking Charlatans." As for Elizondo, he just displayed a relative lack of creative sensitivity towards the project. Many of the tracks are less inspired, less interesting versions of their former selves. The new version of "Used to Love Him," retitled "Tymps (The Sick In the Head Song)," is literally a Fiona vocal dropped over a Dre beat. You can actually hear the guitar from "The Next Episode" in the background. I'm not saying it doesn't work, it just feels uninspired.

But Fiona is the real criminal here (can you imagine music journalism without the retarded puns?). In her interview in last week's Rolling Stone, she made it seem like she was the one unhappy with record, not just Sony, then she goes on to praise Elizondo's reworking of it. If true, it's embarassing, and if false, well... I'm sorry, when you do things like go out and hire someone with a reputation as pop hit maker in a genre that has to bearing on your own to rework your record after the label shelves it, you're sacrificing your artistic integrity. If you claim it was your idea, you're sacrificing your artistic integrity. If you change the title of songs to include a line from the chorus in parenthesis, you're sacrificing your artistic integrity.

Anyone who knows me well is aware that Fiona is my dream crush. Gorgeous, quirky, thoughtful, insanely talented... And I don't think much less of her for making the mistakes she made. Put yourself in her shoes: You're in your early 20s and you're employer is holding your career hostage unless you bend to their will. Who wouldn't? I too have spent months at a time sitting on the couch, watching reruns on Bravo (though in my case it was The West Wing, not Columbo), wondering what the fuck I was going to do with my life. I don't blame Fiona, I'm just a little bit disappointed that once again the record industry has triumphed over the forces of art.


UPDATE: I listened to the new version again and I was a bit softer on it this time. It's still a bit intentionally commercial for my tastes and I think it makes less sense artistically, but it's got some post-modern appeal.

There's been much ado about this lately and I hadn't really thought about it because I operate under the assumption that the Right is always wrong. However, I was on my way to a party on Saturday and a thought occurred to me:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An old, fat, bald white man is sitting across the table from me. He's ranting on about this invisible force that moves the universe in mysterious, but deliberate ways. I'm kind of listening, but really I'm zoned out, staring at his head wondering if his wife polishes it in the morning or if he does it himself. Anyway, he's going on about how all of creation is blah blah blah...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Except he's talking about quarks. Or mu-mesons. Or some other quantum body.

All encompassing, invisible force, acting deliberately to move every single thing in the universe according to some grand plan. Change plan to law and it's science instead of religion.

At this point the inquisitor in me says "I've never seen it, I've never touched it, convince me." And both sides yammer on through their doctrine, The Gospels, mathematical proofs, electronic devices so complicated no single person understands them completely performing experiments that deliver whatever results they do, meaning whatever any of that means... Why is that different from receiveing sacrament and being forgiven of your sins? An arbitrarily developed apparatus performs a more or less mystical function, the results of which are then interpreted, but never fully explained, to us by members of an elite class.

Oh, but it takes so much learning and practice to become a theoretical physicist. Really? You don't say. I'm told it's not all that easy to become a bishop either.

So what you get is our doctrine of faith versus theirs. I'm not deigning to interpret the foundations of either one, but each is founded on an pledge of faith in some constant force that is expressed in the universe we see.

God? Gravitons? Who cares? I'm not saying intelligent design should be taught in schools, I just think the left should stop being so goddam smug and admit that there are other possibilities for once.

SOooo... Rob and I went to Pianos last night to see Warren Suicide, one of the bands his PR firm reps, last night. Definitely some of the best rock I've seen in a while. They were kind of LCD meets Nine Inch Nails, played over live breakbeats. The drummer was a whiteboy with dreads, the keyboardist was dressed like a goth cheerleader from the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video, and the bassist/lead singer was so sweaty you could smell him from the third row. (Rob says it was cause he was working so hard. I say he was just plain dirty.)

Regardless, they totally rocked the place. It's hard to get a crowd of jaded, coolier than thou LES 20somethings to even come to your show, much less actually make them move. Both were accomplished with verve (the later by the band, and the former by Rob's coworkers at Magnum PR). The energy was excellent and the band seemed tight. I'm not sure if they're actually touring the US at the moment or if they're just here looking for representation (hence the display of energy for the label reps and tastemakers in the audience), but I think they could definitely find a home in the New York scene if they wanted.

Not much to report other than that. Drum tracking starts in an hour, and I have confirmed that the drummer is in the city, ready to go. Now the trick is to not strangle him for last weekend when I see him. Wish me luck...