josh is stupid and boring and self-centered and stupid and has crabs

dear person,

am i your secret crush?

type:
1.) for "no, you are an asshole"
2.) for "no, i have a boyfriend and i am faithful"
3.) for "no, but i'm looking to cheat on my boyfriend"
4.) for "maybe, decisions are too much pressure"
5.) for "maybe, but you need to quit pulling my hair"
6.) for "maybe, you are holding my hair while i vomit"
5.) for "yes, but i'm scared so let's just stay friends" 6.) for "yes, now please ask me to tea"
7.) for "yes, now please fuck me sideways"

ps- please drop this in locker 714 when you are finished.

Hooray! I have internet again. Hard to imagine how UTFs wasted their days before the glorious interweb. I was really suffering without the constant LoHo updates. I spent like two hours wasting time on the net this morning just because I could. Unfortunately, not three hours after my web access was restored, my cable went down. In conclusion, FUCK NYU.

Anyway, little to report because I am unofficially on vacation (unofficially b/c i'm temping as a crack whore at Duvet every wednesday and thursday night while Tara is busy shooting Hard On:Taradise). Saw a couple of unremarkable shows at the Pub last week, drinking more/smoking less.

I did have one worthwhile thought last week (in addition to the song i wrote): What if the people of the United States cast a no-confidence vote regarding government counter-intelligence services? They could then withhold x amount of money from their taxes (where x is equal to the % of American tax dollars received by the Department of Homeland Security), and collectively contract with the private sector to perform counter-intelligence operations in their name. I know this opens a whole pandora's box of corruption, civil-liberty violation, and that neo-Tokyo syndicate-controlled future, but the Able Danger debacle has really emphasized the need for drastic rethinking. Maybe not the best idea, but complacency and a lack of creativity are exactly what got us into this mess so I thought I'd throw it out there to get the ball rolling...

i'm not live-blogging the sox game, but they totally missed that call. everyone knows it...

anyway, i haven't done any joz shoz lately so there hasn't been much to post. friday's my last day at SN so of course i miss it already. sitting around doing nothing somewhere other than my apartment is nice. besides, i've gotten really current with all the blog and magazine time and i even finished a book today. it's cool though, i've been playing a lot of guitar lately (and smoking, eww. i'm quitting for school.), and i'm moving into a new room on sunday which i'm rather happy about.

pssh, don't run on johnny like that. what are you thinking? this has been a really good game so far and it's only the fourth...

so... well rested + playing music - lungs/money + new shoes for back to school (maybe, still not sure) - internship #1 = who cares? the sox have two on and nobody out in the top of the fourth (with manny up)!

Ok, so this week's "fun with disposable income" is going to involve the purchase of fabric paints at Utrecht. I'm gonna take some hanes undershirts and add a little of that ironic flava that's about to become totally passé thanks to the brahs in middle america. Mine are gonna be totally personal though... think bustedtees for record producers. Here are some of the slogans I've come up with:


-"W.W.R.R.D.?" (what would Rick Rubin do?)

-"my other console is an SSL" (funny because it's true)

-"i'd rather be mixing" (even more so than having sex)

-"yo mama likes DP" (that's Digital Performer for those unfamiliar. this is my fav but i think it's a little too risqué. maybe if i could paint the DP logo underneath...)

-"you call it underwear, i call it a shockmount"

-"compression... two pounds of shit in a one pound bag"


Anyway, I think I'm gonna call them E.L.T.E.E.s (that's everything louder than everything else for those of you who aren't Motorhead fans). I hope to be sporting one or two in the near future...

This is like the best thing I've read on the internet in ages...

http://www.livescience.com/technology/destroy_earth_mp.html

So I worked at Joe's on saturday night. The 9:30 set was your standard issue 21st century diva (doing the whole Aretha bit + afro-cuba/french chanteuse/whatever their hook is mixed in). Whatevs, I just got her on stage and bounced. The 7:30 set was the John Jorgenson Quintet, and they were really fun. It was that old-timey Django-style jazz and they did it amazingly well. I was expecting to have the same complaint as with CocoRosie (songs get samey by the end of the set), but their dynamics and song choice were really excellent. The energy was great and they got a standing O at the end. It was the first set I've been to where even the wait/bar staff was really into it (and I can't really imagine a more jaded bunch).

As for band, they were super nice. They were in their 40s/50s and had all been gigging for decades (John was in the Hellecasters, if you're familiar). Having been in it for so long they all had the "been there, done that, and lived through it" zen which makes that kind of musician such a pleasure to deal with. I liked them so much and their set was so hot that I actually let them run over by about ten minutes (see? it's not that hard to understand; pleasant + good set = accomodating stage manager). I wish everyone was so easy to deal with.


As for my life (as if you cared)... My weekend was a bit rocky. I bounced around a lot (emotionally and socially, I was at like 5 different houses/bars saturday night), but it's cool. I've been a little tense lately what with quitting drugs and giving up my beloved Bali Shag, but I'm glad I didn't have that giddy, demure emotional honesty that I get when I'm overly chilled. It could have fucked things up pretty badly. I mean, I'm not clean for good, but it's nice to have a clear head when shit comes down on it.

Oh, I got a post-breakup letter from Em. I have to say, it was totally reasonable. She really hit the nail on the head about a lot of things and there really wasn't much in the way of standard-issue female neuroticism. I should get around to writing back (said I would) today.

So in synopsis: nice musicians + emotional obliteration - drugs + chinese food = pretty okay (in a post-modern, Beta Band kind of way)