josh is stupid and boring and self-centered and stupid and has crabs

obviously there's nothing to report since my last post. which i wrote to avoid smoking a cigarette. and it sucked. because i literally haven't written anything (blogs, show reviews, my own name) for about 4+ months. and damn. i am out of practice.

so anyway, this is part two in a 12 part mini-series entitled "why no one reads this blog."

like i said in my last post, life hasn't been treating me too badly. my record really started coming together over thanksgiving break, so that's good. i spent a couple of days in Steve's studio and roughly 80% of the editing is now finished. also, i programmed some weirdness on "Robot Song" (and when you know/ a giant robot/ is behind you/you'll think twice/ before you laugh at me/or his heat-ray will be on you). it's my key playing, so you know it's totally amateur, but i think it has some charm. we'll see if Dave and Nate agree.

it's a good thing i finally know where the record is at, cause the personal life has been a little bit cracked out. i caught myself listening to emo last sunday! somebody please smack me right again. i think some of it has to do with not having settled the whole "now what" scenario. yes, i do have a whole semester to sort it out. no, that does not prevent me from obsessing about it. that obsession leads to panic leads to inaction, and i think that inaction is spilling over into other spheres of my life. gyargh.

but whatevs, i'm gonna keep doing what i been doing; drink until i don't care anymore, then send remorseful text messages the next morning.

so until the next time i find myself bored enough to do this... i remain,
skinny and relentlessly self-improving.

helloooooo cyberspace!

i use more exclamation points than the last time you saw me!!!!

things are good. this semester's records are go, fun party last weekend, a fluffy kitten to daydream about, all that.

anyway, in honor of hearing "November Rain" while i drove home from the studio in the rain, my top five ways to get noticed if you're guns n roses struggling to get signed:

5.) storm a Leukemia telethon offering Slash's hair to one of the patients... slash breaks into a rocking solo from the top of his VW Beetle

4.) enter Duff McKagen and Izzy Stradlin in a USC wet t-shirt contest. slash penetrates the competition with rocking solo after rocking solo until they can't even move

3.) go start a hotel & casino in the middle of the jungle. slash stocks the buffet with small game he killed. death by rocking solo...

2.) step 1: drink. step 2: rocking guitar solos. step 3: profit

1.) write "november rain" for the wicked step-daughter of the evil label president. then slash saves music by cutting the cable suspending a crystal chandelier above them with a rocking solo, dropping the chandelier and slicing them into thin white strips of paper which flutter gently out a window on the cool Malibu breeze.

(throw pencil @ camera)


xxxx FIN xxxx